At least one of my grown sons kept coming back home and telling me, “I haven’t eaten in three days, can I stay here with you for a couple of days?” The “Kid” was well over 30-years old when this was going on and he was living it up in his fantasy world of “Drugs, Sex and Rock and Roll.”
I am not sure, but I sometimes believe that if I hadn’t finally reminded my Son that he was an adult now and that he needed to get a job, earn a paycheck and establish independence, he might still be drinking beer, eating pizza (Pizza that I bought) in my garage with his “Band” … playing God-Awfully noisy pseudo music until all hours of the morning and having the police called on me by irate neighbors.
But, as time went on, he decided to go it alone and my house was finally empty … desolate. My wife had long since passed on. There was nobody but me and the cat, “Joey” who lived in the basement and who brought the fleas into the house …. costing me a fortune in exterminator fees.
Were all these happenings fortunate for me or where they problematic?
I can’t say for sure. Here, in America, we tend to do things differently than they do in such places as Europe and some other foreign countries. In those places, it is not at all unusual for adult children to remain living under their parents’; roof for extended periods of time after adulthood.
There are probably advantages and disadvantages to the situation and it probably depends on the unique circumstances of the individual situation.
For example There is something to be said for being able to live in circumstances where other people are not always present to invade your boundaries and eat all the food in your refrigerator ….. or even worse than that ….. to feed their bevy of friends all the time ….. at your expense ….. without ever contributing anything to the household.
But there are other circumstances where it would be entirely beneficial to have anybody around ….. anybody at all ….. anyone who could be of some help in trying times.
There was a time when I got poisoned by using weed killer on some shrubs outside my bedroom window.
I became so ill the doctors actually told me they didn’t know what to do for me.
My skin ….. all over my body began sweating profusely and coming off in large pieces whenever I would scratch the incessant itching. I could barely walk. I laid in bed for most of every day waiting to die.
Thankfully another of my Sons decided to stay with me for awhile and take care of me.
If he hadn’t made the decision to help me I wouldn’t be here today.
This question about adult kids refusing to leave the nest has a double-edged sword attached to it.
I think it all depends on the individual circumstances but I do know that in this new age when the Millennials are maturing, staying at home with parents beyond adulthood is taking on new importance and is being practiced all over the country more than ever before.
What is your opinion about it?