There are readers of this blog who like to refer to some of the things I write as “Classic Liming.” I always take such comments to be wholly complementary and when I receive such a compliment my head swells bigger and faster than a condom hooked up to a vacuum sweeper that has been put into reverse.
Bernard M. Baruch once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
Well, I have always been who I am although at times I have questioned who I am and certain people around me have not only questioned who I am but have questioned whether I actually exist at all. I have heard such comments directed about me and toward me as “Get Real” (Implying that I am a figment of somebody’s flatulent repast) and/or “That Liming Character can’t be real, can he?” (Implying that someone who has contacted me isn’t in their right mind, or has no mind at all or has been chewing on some magic mushrooms — or worse.
I have always said what I feel and I have always felt what I have said but I have said a lot trying to get felt and I haven’t been felt as much as I might like but then I have not always liked the people very much who have tried to feel me because whether or not I like people feeling me depends on how they are trying to feel me. (Keep it above the belt, bitch!).
Some of the people who don’t mind what I say or feel have no feelings of their own or have never been felt and a lot of them very obviously either have no minds at all or they have minds devoid of feelings sometimes because they call me names and act like trolls…. but I have always suspected that is because they desire my body and have been denied the pleasures associated with it.
In my long experience I have long since discovered that interpreting how other people feel is a matter of mind over matter and whether or not it matters at all depends entirely on how I feel at the time I am thinking about it or on how other people feel about me at the time they are feeling anything at all about me … which is rare because most of the people who should be feeling me are too busy feeling themselves to care. There are exceptions to every rule.
I, myself, am sometimes an exception to my own rules because being a linear genius, I live in a world more or less of my own construct — and there are people out there who cannot understand that because they lack the most basal abilities to understand anything except what their educational clone makers have tried to mould them into being. Some people cannot see much beyond their own noses but those people with exceptionally long noses are blessed with the ability to see farther than their more limited contemporaries and are usually happier than anybody else because they have actual proof that their reproductive capabilities actually exist and this feeds their egos to the point that they can feel something of the reality of the universe that surrounds them.
Have you ever noticed — in your journey through life — that Life is all about something long and relatively rigid entering and interacting with something soft and somewhat fuzzy? All the wars ever fought, all the nations ever established, all the economies that have ever risen or fallen have all had one ultimate goal in mind …. copulatory satisfaction and reproduction of the species. Every act ever performed by a man or a woman on the fact of this earth has been performed for the ultimate purpose of achieving one form or the other of ejaculation, either physical or mental — and that is the fact of life and that is how I feel about it in case anyone is interested and ….. this has been “Classic Liming” for all my hordes of devoted fans.
You can thank me tomorrow.